From Widow to Wedding and my Weight Loss Woes

From widow to wedding plans – Middle aged widowed bride tries to lose weight with a few mishaps and little success.

So planning a wedding is fun and full of unexpected joyful moments.

Of course, it wouldn’t be a proper wedding without making a last ditch effort to lose a few pounds.  Being a middle aged bride has benefits such as not stressing so much about the color of the bridesmaid dresses or which wedding favors are the most trendy.  Brides today have so much to consider. But the middle age, widowed bride has only one worry…


Everyone has a camera these days.  It is attached to their smart phone.  But smart phones, although quite clever, have not learned how to photoshop those extra pounds off.

Back when I was 25 years old and getting ready for my first wedding, I ate salads and worked the evening schedule at a hotel.  I did step classes and went full throttle on the stair master at Gold’s Gym in San Diego.  I easily lost 2 dress sizes in 8 months and was in the best shape ever.

So now, at 55 I tried this again.

I ate some salads, but I also ate some other food.

I’ve been working days and eat well at work, but once I get home I really enjoy a nice meal with my fiancé.  We also like sharing some wine or ice-cream as we sit and binge watch the best of Netflix on the couch.

As a lifetime member of Weight Watchers I tried that approach again recently but wasn’t consistent with tracking my food.  I uploaded a few different apps, but still no success.

Since the food part of weight loss wasn’t working too well for me,  I thought I ‘d focus on exercise.  I wear my Fitbit every day and generally reach my goal in steps.

I joined a gym.

This gym is located between my place of work and my home.  The plan was to stop on the way home and get in a good work out.  That has happened 2 or 3 times since I joined 6 months ago.

Not enough times to make a difference.  So last week the weather changed and we had a sunny and warm Saturday.  I felt inspired.

Several years ago I trained for a half marathon, 13.1 miles.  I ran a few times each week for about 8 months prior to the date.  I followed a schedule and was actually impressed that I could sustain running for over an hour.

I flew to Orlando and met up with my sister and her friends.  We stayed in a Disney hotel and went out to a nice dinner the night before the run.  At 3:00 in the chilly January morning we got dressed and boarded the bus with about 28,000 other athletic people. We donned old sweatshirts with the sole purpose of discarding them once we started to run.  The tossed warm up clothes are donated to local charities, so I have been told.

Well, I was no superstar, but I did finish the race and got my gold Donald Duck medal.

So naturally, back to wedding plans, getting in shape and losing weight has been on my mind.  All I needed to do on that sunny Saturday morning was go out for a run.  Easy peasy!

I walked up the block, and then thinking about all the latest trends in exercise, decided I would sprint from where I was to the white mailbox.  It’s called something like interval training, and then I could walk again.

I was excited.  I have done this and I will be in great shape. I had the right mindset.

So I took that first step, second step – full speed ahead, then my left leg decided to stop.  I couldn’t move it. However, it hadn’t told the rest of my body that it was quitting.

I went flying forward: knees, hands, left boob and finally face – splat on the road.

I was in shock.  How could I have just fallen.  Ow.  Is my head OK? It hurts.  Are my hands  or wrists broken? No, just some blood.  I sat up on the black pavement in disbelief.  After a few minutes I scooted to the side of the road.  I looked up.  No one had seen me.  I was literally all alone, with no phone.

I sat and caught my breath.  I felt the blood dripping down my face.  This was awful, and now I had to walk home like this.  How embarrassing.  Well, at least I could walk.

After about 15 sad minutes I pulled myself up and started home.  The agony of defeat.

Searching the back of the freezer I found the ice packs and started icing the parts that hurt.  I sat feeling sorry for myself and soon my boyfriend came over and saw me on the couch, holding ice packs and sporting dried blood on my face.  Oh what a pretty site!

Tenderly he found the hydrogen peroxide and bandaged up my knees.  My hand was turning purple so he wrapped that as well.  He even helped me wash my face.  He is a keeper!

Well, it’s been 2 weeks and I visited the gym again this week but I don’t think I’ll be doing any running.

Sure wish there was a magic pill or simple procedure to keep our bodies thin and beautiful.  It’s a shame that we are so programmed to think that we need to be a certain size and look a certain way to be happy.  But my level of happiness hasn’t ever changed by my looks, and I don’t plan on letting it influence me now.

My happiness is created by being loved and loving others.

By surrounding myself with people who bring me laughter and joy I have found happiness again. By enjoying life and embracing new and familiar adventures I continue to grow and look forward to tomorrow. Click here to read about more of my adventures after loss. TOP ADVENTURES AND MY “BE” ATTITUDES

Sure, I’d like to shed a few pounds before my wedding.  It is indeed a great motivator.  But no matter what the scale says, it’s my day and I’m planning to look just fabulous and have a wonderful time!!

BTW If you have any good tricks for shedding those few pounds, please share! Thanks 🙂

Widow to Wedding


Author: runawaywidow

At the age of 51 I unexpectedly became a widow. For the first 6 months after my husband died, I was in shock and numb. I journaled and with the help of friends, family and therapists was able to get back to living my old life, even if it is now very different. Before I was married, I had spent a semester in England and backpacked around Europe. My husband and I moved from New York to California for 8 years and started a family. Travelling took a back seat to raising a family and going to work everyday. Since the loss of my husband I have visited a lot of places with family and friends and took a solo trip to Thailand. I am enjoying sharing my stories and adventures as well as some of my insights to how I am traveling the path of being a widow. I hope to share my stories and adventures as well as some thoughts on being a middle aged widow. While I have some great experiences traveling to Thailand and cruising to Central America, some of my adventures involve a trip to see a Broadway show in nearby Manhattan and a shopping trip at Bed, Bath and Beyond. If I can inspire anyone to go out and continue to live a good life that would be my greatest accomplishment.

16 thoughts on “From Widow to Wedding and my Weight Loss Woes”

  1. You are beautiful inside and out! Eat and exercise for your health and enjoy every moment planning your wedding. You will be beautiful on your wedding day because you have once again found happiness.💕

  2. I’m a window too…..And hope to get married agian…….to a great guy. But he hasn’t asked yet, but I know he will, only his church and friends don’t approve because middle aged and has a lot younger…..But I know he loves me. So what do you do when you know he’s the one but everyone else is trying to prevent it?

    1. That is tricky – but I would make it small and special when you both feel ready. GO for it!!

      1. He’s in a church now that accepts only two young people, unless the guy is the older one. That’s what I was thinking….small and away from everyone. I think they are disgusted ….well let’s not go there.

  3. Don’t worry about weight loss. Enjoy the process and the wedding. You are a beautiful woman and will be a beautiful bride. Your easy smile, laugh and sweet heart are all that matters. I am so very happy for you two. Much love and happiness to you.

    1. Thanks Terri for such sweet thoughts. The wedding will be a lot of fun and you’re right – there’s so much to enjoy.

  4. Relax and enjoy your planning for a wonderful day. They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder so just look at yourself in the mirror, smile and know that you are have a terrific guy who loves you just the way you are!

  5. don’t fret about this weight-thing …. get yourself kitted out with the help of yourself, what will really make you happy for the day – the notion that you’ve worried that someone will snap a badly handled photo will be overcome by the sheer joy you are radiating to all around you…

    1. Thanks. That is so true. It is what it is and I love that idea – I do believe I will be radiating joy that day😘

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