More challenges after the loss of a spouse. Who will clean the yard?

After my husband died, I sometimes slowly and sometimes abruptly dealt with the changes in my life.  Taking his name off the bank account and health insurance, filing the paperwork for life insurance and waiting for the autopsy report to pursue a wrongful death lawsuit were all challenging feats I dealt with in the first 6 months after my loss.

FInding out the car was not inspected, overdue for registration, and had a flat tire while adding gas to the tank one day was a bit embarrassing.  Calling the chimney guy to help me rid the warm brick cavity of a giant squirrel’s nest was a good call.  And replacing the back deck before it caved in on someone walking across it was a good call on my part.

When the weather warms up after a long cold winter, I get very excited about planting some fresh annuals and watching the perennial plants I took from my dad’s garden begin to grow.

My dad loved to get his hands dirty in the gardens around our yard.  If there was extra space, he would arrange a wildflower garden.  He would occasionally stop along the side of the highway on trips to Maine to discover and then transplant a beloved jack in the pulpit or columbine that no one had seen before.  The south east corner of our yard was designated for vegetables and he certainly had the magic touch for growing pumpkins.

WIDOW cleaning yard after loss of spouse

how to maintain the yard as a widow

As an adult I have lived in a number of places and we always did the landscaping ourselves.  When I first met Mike he owned and operated his own landscaping business. He knew all the ins and outs of mowing a lawn and planting seeds and fertilizing.  He had weed whackers, blowers, several types of mowers and many useful yard tools.

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Healthy choices and swimsuit season: Which diet works?

Sometimes in life we experience a really big pothole.  Losing a spouse can feel like you have fell into the bottomless pit.  Avoiding the reality of loss or wallowing in the sadness are not the best ways to deal with loss. But each person has their own path.  Eventually you do have to come out of that pit and face the world again.  Isn’t it amazing that life does go on?  As a new widow or widower, you look at people and nature and can’t believe that everything didn’t stop when your loved one died.  It’s a fact. Life goes on.

It may take some time to get back to a good place.  You have been through something traumatic and that has changed you.  If you let it, it will make you stronger.  It will give you new perspective.  Little things that used to bother you will no longer phase you.  You know it could be worse.  The heat stopped working? Nothing to make for dinner? The bill is overdue? No big deal.  You can fix these things.

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Stonehenge England

Ultimate Road Trip in England: Stonehenge, Cotswolds, and Bath

Renting a car in the middle of London is a challenge for us yanks who are used to driving on the right side of the road.  Instead of traffic lights it seems we were constantly challenged with traffic circles that were unlabeled.  OK, there were some traffic lights but those roundabouts scared me.  It took us almost 2 hours to drive south to Stonehenge.  I had never seen this wonder of the world and was a bit curious.

It is oddly located out in the middle of fields near the town of Amesbury. Archaeologists believe it was built between 3000 BC and 2000 BC.  Much research has been done including Radiocarbon dating which indicate Stonehenge was a burial ground and that the 2 ton blue stones, which may have been believed to have special qualities, were likely moved from Wales by lifting them and carrying them with rows of poles.  A tourist center is near the car park where some videos and artifacts are displayed, along with a gift shop and dining area.

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2 Days in London at Easter

Packing for a trip to England in early April can be tricky. Will it be cold? Will it be warm? Well one thing is certain. It will rain. Hours before my departure I found a stylish Michael Kors black raincoat. I wrapped my olive green scarf from Thailand, complete with elephants, around my neck and tossed a few lightweight dark colored sweaters, black pants and comfy black boots in the suitcase. I reread my blog post on how to alleviate anxiety while traveling. I was ready for London.

International flights from JFK are the way to go. The roads from Long Island and the terminals are well lit and labeled. Long term parking is s bit of a maze to reach but once parked you easily board the train which circles the airport and brings you directly to your terminal.

We flew Virgin Atlantic and the overall experience was fine. We had a nice selection of movies to watch, 2 small meals on the direct flight to London and unlimited cocktails!

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