Sticky post

Do Widows Wear Wedding Rings?

Widows can do whatever they want. There is no specific etiquette as to whether a widow should wear her ring or stop wearing it or when it is appropriate to do so.

Continue reading “Do Widows Wear Wedding Rings?”

How to write and publish a book

I have shared my journey of how to be a widow, so here’s my latest. While I by no means claim to be an expert, by sharing my experience maybe I can encourage someone to tell their story as well.

Last summer I saw a post that read “write a book in 30 days”. The idea of writing a book appealed to me, but getting started seemed to be the issue. I had some ideas. My story of tragically losing my is horrific. I wanted to tell Mike’s story. I have trudged through the thick of it and am living a good life now. Could this be helpful to someone – let them know they are not alone and life can be good again? I wanted to give it a try.

While busily packing up my house last July, I signed up for the 30 day on-line writing program before I moved to Florida. I know me and I work best under pressure. This could work. Each day I opened an email from Joshua Sprague with assignments to spend 1-2 hours writing. I found a quiet place to sit and write. So I began.

Continue reading “How to write and publish a book”

Signs from Loved Ones: Is there life after death?

Keeping an open mind, I believe we can find signs from our loved ones if we accept that it is possible.

My latest sign came from my mom on Mother’s Day.  I spent the day with my sister.  This is our third year without calling mom or sending her flowers.  We didn’t get to have lunch with her so we made plans to visit the Sarasota Jungle gardens and go to lunch with some of our family members. We both miss our mom so a sister is a good substitute.

Continue reading “Signs from Loved Ones: Is there life after death?”

Yoga Teacher Training over 50

It’s recommended that we never stop learning and we can keep our brains from turning to mush after retirement by learning something new. I’ve tried courses available online including the history of Egypt and some writing courses. I attempted knitting but did not get very far on that venture. Pete is teaching me how to golf and I do enjoy getting outside on the course in our golf cart, but I needed something more.

Continue reading “Yoga Teacher Training over 50”

He’s gone -It’s OK to say their name

After spending the past thirty 4th of July’s together, which was also my husband’s birthday, grief comes back full swing and is one of the more difficult holidays to get through for me.

Year one I made a nice Facebook post with photos. Then I made sure to be away from home. My brother and sister and mom and our kids joined us in Cape Cod for a family reunion. This ensured a good distraction and no one really mentioned Mike. Avoiding pain and sadness was my immediate goal. My family was hopeful that I’d be OK, so I was.

Continue reading “He’s gone -It’s OK to say their name”

Unexpected Grief Triggers bring back PTSD 5 years later

On Reuters news this morning and there was no mention of Coronavirus. It hasn’t disappeared but more pressing news across the country is broadcasting this morning.

Cities across the United States have erupted into violent scenes of protests. While some protesters peacefully object to police brutality, others have turned into rioters. Angry crowds looting stores, setting fires to police cars and barricading streets were filmed last night.

This all began last week with the death of George Floyd, a black man in Minnesota, who spent his last moments pinned under a police officer’s knee, begging for his life.

The officers filed a report regarding Floyd’s death as a “medical incident during a police interaction”. Reports from the ambulance that transported Floyd to a nearby hospital stated the male was pulseless and unresponsive .

What infuriates me is that if bystanders had not videotaped the scene, these bad cops would get away with it. The vague ‘medical incident’ would be enough to avoid blame to any of the cops involved.

The former Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin, who refused to move his knee from Floyd’s neck for over 8 minutes despite cries “I cannot breath” has a history on the police force. He shot one suspect, was involved in the fatal shooting of another, and received at least 17 complaints during his nearly two decades with the department, according to police records and archived news reports.

Why was this man still allowed to serve as a police officer?

What good old boys club did he belong to?

The news has set off triggers for me and emotions I haven’t let surface for a while. The night my husband died I was initially told he had had a heart attack. Then more specifically that he died of cardiac arrest.

I saw his body at the hospital and was surprised to see cuts and bruises covering his barefoot, bathing suit and t-shirt attire. I had been sitting with him earlier that evening on the beach with friends and he had been fine.

Continue reading “Unexpected Grief Triggers bring back PTSD 5 years later”

9 ways to ask for help after the death of a loved one…

Losing my husband at the young age of 51 was horrible.  It was unexpectedly tragic and life altering but somehow I survived those early days.  I needed support.  The friends that stepped up and the small steps I took on my own to get to where I am now helped me grow so much. I could not do it alone.

Continue reading “9 ways to ask for help after the death of a loved one…”