How to NOT be a Stay at Home, Lonely Widow.

MOVING FORWARD by dating or at least leaving the house after the death of a spouse. Lonely widows and widowers are looking for friends. How to cope with loneliness as a widow, deal with complicated grief and maybe even start dating.

Friends are all getting together on Friday night.  You are recently a widow and not part of a couple anymore.  You were invited so the question is, should you stay or should you go now?

If you stay home, it is safe.  You can be sad and watch a T.V. show.  Start a new binge watching marathon.  You could eat and drink and stay in your pajamas and cuddle a pet or a pillow.  You could think about your dead spouse and do some crying.  Or maybe some screaming.

But what if you go…

I know a lot of newly widowed people feel guilty going out and enjoying themselves.  They think they should continue to be mourning all the time.  Maybe they are worried about what others will think of them? What if it looks like you are happy and having fun. People will get the wrong idea.

Continue reading “How to NOT be a Stay at Home, Lonely Widow.”

More challenges after the loss of a spouse. Who will clean the yard?

Yard work is a lot for most people, especially widows. How to enjoy the yard in the nice weather and how to do the maintenance…

After my husband died, I sometimes slowly and sometimes abruptly dealt with the changes in my life.  Taking his name off the bank account and health insurance, filing the paperwork for life insurance and waiting for the autopsy report to pursue a wrongful death lawsuit were all challenging feats I dealt with in the first 6 months after my loss.

FInding out the car was not inspected, overdue for registration, and had a flat tire while adding gas to the tank one day was a bit embarrassing.  Calling the chimney guy to help me rid the warm brick cavity of a giant squirrel’s nest was a good call.  And replacing the back deck before it caved in on someone walking across it was a good call on my part.

When the weather warms up after a long cold winter, I get very excited about planting some fresh annuals and watching the perennial plants I took from my dad’s garden begin to grow.

My dad loved to get his hands dirty in the gardens around our yard.  If there was extra space, he would arrange a wildflower garden.  He would occasionally stop along the side of the highway on trips to Maine to discover and then transplant a beloved jack in the pulpit or columbine that no one had seen before.  The south east corner of our yard was designated for vegetables and he certainly had the magic touch for growing pumpkins.

WIDOW cleaning yard after loss of spouse

how to maintain the yard as a widow

As an adult I have lived in a number of places and we always did the landscaping ourselves.  When I first met Mike he owned and operated his own landscaping business. He knew all the ins and outs of mowing a lawn and planting seeds and fertilizing.  He had weed whackers, blowers, several types of mowers and many useful yard tools.

Continue reading “More challenges after the loss of a spouse. Who will clean the yard?”

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