I wrote a book for widows: No Simple Highway

Last summer I saw a post that read “write a book in 30 days”. The idea of writing a book has appealed to me, but getting started seemed to be the issue. I enjoy writing stories in my blog. Wouldn’t that be enough, I wondered.

But I signed up for the 30 day on-line writing program last July before I moved to Florida. Each day I spent 1-2 hours writing. It was cathartic since the book is a memoir and tells the story about the night Mike died and the few years afterwards.

My initial idea was to write a self-help book to help other widows deal with the sudden loss of a spouse. I had been through it and maybe my words could help someone. That is what I have tried to do over the years writing this blog and people read posts daily from my Pinterest page so I know others are looking for guidance. I know I was looking for advice and even a “how to” book as a new widow. I threw the literal kitchen sink at my grief journey trying everything and anything to keep moving forward every day.

But once I started writing my story, it took on a life of its own. Sure, I had to deal with all the issues that an unexpected death entail. I planned a funeral service and met with lots of people. I figured out ways to handle the finances despite a delay in obtaining the death certificate and thus any life insurance money. I processed my grief with the support of professionals when necessary as well as my own precarious health circumstances at the time.

But I had one more issue to deal with that not all widows do, though many believe it to be true:

My husband wasn’t supposed to die that night.

When Mike left the beach to use the restroom at the beach clubhouse, he should have been able to walk out of that building without being assaulted and killed. It took two years for us to see the surveillance video of what happened that night.

Pursuing legal action isn’t easy but sometimes it has to be done. With the help of friends and family and a good legal team, I took the road less traveled. We pursued the truth and sought justice for Mike. My book will tell that story.

Stay tuned for chapter one and an opportunity to get “No Simple Highway” on Amazon!

WRONGFUL Death Settlement. Is Karma real?

Wrongful death lawsuit settlement for the widow

The wrongful death lawsuit is over.

It has been determined, by lawyers, a judge and insurance adjusters, that in agreement with the medical examiner who determined his death to be a homocide, the two men who caused my husband’s death are indeed responsible.

A settlement was made. All parties agreed.

After 3 years, the ordeal is over.

The trips to courthouses are over.

The phone calls with the lawyer and private investigators are over.

The depositions and nasty questions are over.

The signing of legal forms and faxing of important papers is over.

The proof of lost income and outstanding bills is over.

The personal days off from work are over.

The interviews with news media are over.

The participation from witnesses is over.

The analysis of the medical treatment and procedures is over.

The scrutiny over the autopsy is over.

The unpleasant arguing with sides is over.

The negotiations and mediations are over.

The letters written to politicians and leaders of our justice system are over.

The petition signing campaign is over.

The tears in retelling to others what happened that night are over.

The waiting is over.

I thought I would feel better when it was all over, but I don’t really feel better.

Sure, they had to pay.  But surely not enough.

Why aren’t they in jail?

Why hasn’t their life been turned upside down?

Why do their kids still have a father?

Why aren’t their wives widows?

I know life isn’t fair.

I know I can not change the past.

I know I put in a good effort to hold them responsible.

I know, that no matter what happened, my husband was never going to come back.

I know there would never have been a happy ending to this chapter.

Knowing that it’s over, my head feels a sense of relief.

Knowing that it’s over, my heart can’t stop hurting.

Now, I need to leave the rest to the Universe.

I hope Karma is real.

The night my husband died

is karma real wrongful death suit

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