After my husband died, and the fog of grief started to lift, I found myself anxious about… well, everything. Things that once felt automatic—like making a pot of coffee—were now overwhelming. Should I make 8 cups like I used to? Or just 4 now?
Everyday Tasks Felt Impossible
Going to the grocery store was no better. The aisles were landmines of memories. I kept asking myself, “What do I even like to eat?” I’d cooked for a family, but now I was only cooking for me.
Even things like filling the car with gas turned into a minefield. One time, I decided to be a good mom and top off my son’s tank before his drive back to college. That’s when I learned the inspection was overdue, the registration had expired, a tire had a nail in it, and it needed an oil change. Life had become too much.
Starting Small to Rebuild Confidence
I realized I needed to start with small wins. I made a rule: do just three things a day. Sometimes, “walk the dog” made the list—and that was enough.
But the real healing came when I started saying “yes” to invitations, made it a point to connect with neighbors, and gently pushed myself out the door.
Facing the First Holidays Alone
The first year of “firsts” is brutal. The first birthday without him, our anniversary, and the one-year mark of his death loomed ahead like thunderstorms.
For his birthday, I planned a family trip to Cape Cod and New Hampshire. Being somewhere new with people I loved helped. There were still tears but the change of scenery helped.
How I Got the Confidence to Travel Solo
I always loved the idea of travel, and after the first holidays without my husband, I knew I needed something bold to break up the grief spiral. I was anxious about the one-year anniversary of his passing, and the thought of sitting home and crying just felt unbearable.
So I booked a trip. To Thailand.
That’s right—I ran away (in a healthy way). I signed up for a G Adventures group tour and flew to the other side of the planet. That trip was equal parts terrifying and exhilarating, and it reminded me that I’m still capable of joy, wonder, and yes—independence.
Group Tours Made Me Feel Safe (and Brave)
I chose a small group adventure tour because it offered structure, security, and the chance to meet other solo travelers—many of them women like me. We bathed elephants, hiked through the jungle, took cooking classes, and laughed over Thai meals I never could’ve made at home.
I roomed with another woman to save money, and our tour guide helped us navigate vans, trains, boats, and planes throughout the country. It was a mix of solo adventure and social connection—the exact combo I needed.
Facing Fears and Finding Peace in Japan
My next big adventure was visiting my son while he was studying abroad in Japan. I decided to make it a full experience and joined a guided tour called Inside Japan’s Tokaido Trail. Tokyo, Mount Fuji, Kyoto—it was all so magical.
One morning in Kyoto, I woke up early and decided to explore on my own. My son wanted to sleep in, and I had two choices: sit and wait for him, or go off on a solo adventure. Guess what I picked?
I visited the Golden Pavilion and had a moment of pure awe. The shimmering reflection of the gold-leaf temple in the still pond took my breath away. That peaceful moment, surrounded by strangers in a foreign country, felt like healing.
Little Steps Help You Heal
It didn’t happen overnight. There were still days I couldn’t get out of bed, and I gave myself permission to have those days. But I also made space for curiosity and courage. I signed up for “Meet Up” outings, yoga classes, and even a breathing workshop (which was weird but helpful!).
Trying new things helped me remember who I was outside of grief.
Why I Recommend Solo Travel to Other Widows
Travel gave me my confidence back. It reminded me that life isn’t over—even though it’s different. Making plans, exploring new cultures, and meeting kind strangers helped me realize I’m not alone in the world.
You don’t have to fly to Thailand or Japan (although I highly recommend both!). A weekend getaway to a nearby town, a train ride to the beach, or even a solo day trip can work wonders for your healing.
Give yourself something to look forward to. That’s what travel has done for me. It’s therapy in motion, and I hope it helps you take the first brave step toward healing.
10 Comments
Good for you! What an adventure
Thank you. Yes – I absolutely love to travel and find it brings me so much joy and happiness
Your story truly inspires—while roaming vibrant Nepal from Everest’s majestic trails to lively Namche and Thamel, I felt that same healing and courage bloom in every step, reminding me how travel can open the heart and soul to new beginnings.
That is wonderful. I know I like to do some traveling as well. I have put in the hard-work of processing and getting my life back to some semblance of normality after this 10 year of living as a widow. I have done a-lot of traveling with in my soul and it has been amazing and wonderful to see how God has brought me back to life. I admire your courage and your commitment to keep on going and living in a positive and caring way. Thank you for sharing your journey. Blessings!
Thank you so much for stopping by and your kind words. I am also coming up in the 10 year anniversary of being widowed. Those first years are so hard but with baby steps we can move forward and build the life we want as well as honor those who are no longer with us.
That is so true!
You are so brave and I am glad you found your way to help deal with your feelings
Thank you for reading. Baby steps gets us back out there.
I wanted t o do this after my husband died, but I found myself too anxiety about finances to try.
That’s totally understandable. I always say take baby steps. Even to the local park or a Panera restaurant. Small wins build confidence – and lower anxiety for trying more new things. Thanks for reading.