Running Away for the Weekend After Loss

I was home for a few days after my big Thailand trip before I felt the urge to runaway again.

I wrote this blog just after Labor Day and am reposting now, right before Memorial Day.  I survived the long winter in my home alone.  I managed to get away a few times during those long, dark months and getting up every day to go to work was definitely a good thing to do for me.  My sons are both home for the summer and I am looking forward to new and upcoming adventures.

The trip to Thailand did give me confidence in my future. I was able to do some things that I never expected to do and I was open to new opportunities.  One of the things I also learned is that my family is so important to me.

I am sad that Mike is gone.  I wish it was different and that he was there to see our sons move on with their lives.  He was a real hands on dad.  He insisted on family dinners and no t.v. during the week. We went on family vacations and often did day trips as a family when the boys were little.

Doing this next step alone is unsettling but I am so fortunate to have great kids and the support of both my family and Mike’s.

While I was away, Mike’s brother has been there to drive the boys to the airport and mail the laptop that was left behind.

My brother opened his home to us and welcomed us into his loving family.  Since my older son goes to law school near my brother in Ithaca, New York, and I had not done the typical “bring your child to college thing”, I decided to visit during Labor Day weekend.

Usually on Labor Day weekend I join my neighbors and listen to bands at the annual lighthouse festival. It was one of Mike’s favorite things about living here that we did. It was his Facebook cover picture. So again, I wanted to avoid those memories.

I took my puppy on a five hour drive upstate NY.  I went with family to see my nephew play football at his college.  He was awesome!  I hiked with my sister in law, niece and puppy.  I walked around my son’s college, went grocery shopping with him, put new bedding on his bed and enjoyed a lovely dinner out together.

Cornell university Ithaca

Cornell University

Cornell University law school

Cornell University law school

hiking ithaca new york

I was happy to go away because I am afraid of the empty house.  Both kids are away and husband is gone, and winter is coming.  It gets dark and I will be at work but how does this all move forward? I have plenty of time to figure it out I guess.  I used the high winds and storm warnings to stay an extra night even though my puppy wasn’t quite behaving himself. Oh well.

Family is very accepting so I am thankful for that. I was happy to be there. I did feel that I belonged and that is important as I learn to identify myself in this new role.

To find out my 17 favorite things to do in Ithaca, NY click here


At the age of 51 I unexpectedly became a widow. For the first 6 months after my husband died, I was in shock and numb. I journaled and with the help of friends, family and therapists was able to get back to living my old life, even if it is now very different. Before I was married, I had spent a semester in England and backpacked around Europe. My husband and I moved from New York to California for 8 years and started a family. Travelling took a back seat to raising a family and going to work everyday. Since the loss of my husband I have visited a lot of places with family and friends and took a solo trip to Thailand. I am enjoying sharing my stories and adventures as well as some of my insights to how I am traveling the path of being a widow. I hope to share my stories and adventures as well as some thoughts on being a middle aged widow. While I have some great experiences traveling to Thailand and cruising to Central America, some of my adventures involve a trip to see a Broadway show in nearby Manhattan and a shopping trip at Bed, Bath and Beyond. If I can inspire anyone to go out and continue to live a good life that would be my greatest accomplishment.

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4 Responses

  1. Addie says:

    Love you sweet growing daughter, through the tough times we do the most growth, but we are Never alone always with faith, family and friends.

  2. Addie says:


  1. December 28, 2016

    […] 7. Ithaca, New York:  One son is at school and my brother lives in this small city upstate New York, about 5 hours from Manhattan.  Visiting family is always a great way to spend a weekend. Ithaca is know for hiking the beautiful gorges and the stunning waterfalls.  We spent Thanksgiving together and gave lots of hugs. My puppy even accompanied me on a visit in the fall and hiked with us at Robert H. Treman State Park. I learned to lean on family when I need to get away and that they will always be here for me.  Still Running […]

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