I have spent the past 11 months searching for information about how to live after your spouse unexpectedly is gone and you have now become a widow. This was not my plan. We had a happy marriage. We had just celebrated our 26th wedding anniversary in New Orleans after bringing our youngest son to college. We were enjoying each other and ready to make plans for our future. A week later, my husband was dead and my life changed, forever.
This is a blog about how I dealt with that year and my journey to continue to move forward. Writing a blog can help process what is happening in your life, share your knowledge and ideas about grief, tell about your travels and experiences, and connect with others in similar situations.
I read books and visited therapists. I talked to sympathetic friends and relatives. However, I needed some direction. What do other people do in this situation?
On the first holiday we all attempted to continue our traditional meal but it was sad and I cried for the next 3 days. I decided the best action for me was to “runaway” and plan ahead for these upcoming triggers to deal with my grief.
I had always loved to travel but marriage, family, work, and bills seemed to take up so much of my time and money. For our 25th wedding anniversary I wanted to do something special. A big trip! We saved up for the airfare to Europe and stayed for 2 weeks at a friend’s water-view apartment in Croatia. We had an amazing time and I looked forward to the future years adding travel to our budget.
After Mike died, I attempted to heal myself by planning trips. Therapy through travel was my motto. The first Christmas I took my two sons on a one-week cruise. That turned out to be a good way to celebrate the holiday and avoid letting my grief sink me into despair.
For what would have been my 27th wedding anniversary followed a week later by my husband’s one-year passing anniversary I ran far, far away. I went by myself to Thailand and started this blog. I wrote quickly about the adventures and feelings I was dealing with. It was an amazing trip and started to help me heal and think about what I would do in the future.
The journey in life after the loss of a spouse is no simple highway as I named my memoir. While dealing with the sudden and tragic death of my husband, I also needed to work full-time, take care of my home and support my college-aged sons. Additionally, I pursued a wrongful death lawsuit to make the people responsible for his death held accountable.
Writing is a great way for me to tell my story and maybe help other widows know that they are not alone on this journey. Join me as I discover the potholes along the way of widowhood and the glimmers of hope toward a new but different life after loss.
Mike started to get the travel bug after our Croatia trip and I was hopeful that seeing the world would be in our future. So I would like to dedicate this blog to Mike. I will recall memories of our life together and visit some new places. I will meet new people and continue to have adventures for both of us. Here are some places he would have loved to see, experiences he would have had and I hope people he would have loved to meet.
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